Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
