it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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