I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
