I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
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