bring money and cleavage
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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