Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
