Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm going to jail i love you
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Randomize
