I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
