I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
