Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
