Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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