This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
