that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
