My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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