Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
A+ Viking dick
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