You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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