She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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