Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
