this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I have feelings that need drinking.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
