wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
