Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
