Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
operation harelip BJ is a go
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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