she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
