"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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