Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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