The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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