i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
