She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
