Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
