I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
my sisters under your porch take her home
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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