pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
A bitchslap is in order.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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