I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
