come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
