making cat noises will not fix the situation.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
