it was like his penis was on wheels.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
only you would photoshop your dick
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
