Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
