bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
