3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
