I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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