omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
