I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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