Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
