No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
