i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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