this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
