Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  What you up to?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Full throttle

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.

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  (248): What you up to? (734): Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking. (248): Full throttle (734): Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche. http://tfl.nu/7srx
  Replies (11) Good night (1606) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.

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  (913): My favorite part of our friendship is your tits. http://tfl.nu/3eyr
  Replies (19) Good night (4379) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.

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  (954): It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life. http://tfl.nu/v7co
  Replies (10) Good night (699) Bad night (3630)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter

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  (973): So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter http://tfl.nu/eba3
  Replies (36) Good night (1998) Bad night (5654)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.

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  (919): I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job. http://tfl.nu/800g
  Replies (25) Good night (5035) Bad night (3690)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you

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  (260): you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you http://tfl.nu/iz7v
  Replies (6) Good night (3848) Bad night (911)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...

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  (732): Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL... http://tfl.nu/zpti
  Replies (6) Good night (2071) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?

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  (801): What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's? http://tfl.nu/1yab
  Replies (9) Good night (1878) Bad night (1180)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call

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  (330): I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call http://tfl.nu/x7fj
  Replies (10) Good night (1935) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.

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  (717): I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina. http://tfl.nu/ow9j
  Replies (3) Good night (1212) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams. 

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  (404): Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.  http://tfl.nu/pssg
  Replies (4) Good night (1007) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.

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  (870): When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody. http://tfl.nu/gc8j
  Replies (5) Good night (419) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?

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  (613): Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me? http://tfl.nu/ozdm
  Replies (6) Good night (382) Bad night (736)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!

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  (678): No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing! http://tfl.nu/2stv
  Replies (1) Good night (586) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.

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  (813): The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room. http://tfl.nu/fw34
  Replies (19) Good night (323) Bad night (795)

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