Joe is yelling at the trees again.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
