You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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