Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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