I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
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I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
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our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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