The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Randomize
