I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
