Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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