38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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