There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
is it fun? or sober?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
