In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
