His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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