apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
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you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
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I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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