you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
i think i just lost a toe
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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