i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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