i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
wanna go halves on a baby?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize