I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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