hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
