You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
