the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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